the first day of the rest. . .

firstday

Today feels a little like a launch pad, like the edge of the parking lot with the trail stretched out ahead, blazes winking here and there among the trees. The handful of days since New Year’s we’ve been moving toward this beginning.

My sweetheart headed back to work today, and elder boy to middle school. Younger son and I are tucked in here together, and his virtual academy resumes online tomorrow. Today we draw and make bagels and do lots of laundry. We exercise and add to the donation pile and make our beds. Nothing is tarnished yet, everything still bright in the cold cold sunshine.

Yesterday I asked, perched or poised? In thinking about this, what it comes down to is keeping this promise to myself, this daily date with words. Here, and in scattered notebooks and in the margins of my calendar. I make good on what I tell everyone else, but in the past I’ve handed myself a sack of excuses and an apologetic smile.

This year I want to be a woman of my word.

 

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