Day Eleven: Faces of the Beloved: Our Children

His eyes were the color of ripe blueberries, or perhaps the November night sky outside the hospital window. I held him, frightened and delighted and just awestruck. But I believed it. He was surely my beloved child, and I was well pleased. There was a spark of recognition–  yes–  this is the one we’ve been waiting for. Joshua, strong and courageous. And two and a half years later, Samuel, for this child I prayed.

Nothing much stays the same. Those navy blue eyes have lightened and warmed to his father’s hazel. Infant cuddles are now an arm around the shoulder mostly, or a ruffled head. We locked gazes in that hospital bed, and he’ll be looking me in the eye before I know it. Both of my boys are dearer every day, but we are far from the November night and April noon when we met and already knew each other as beloved.

Surprise, surprise that our kids are people, too. They grow and change, they can disappoint us and bruise our hearts. Words and actions alien and unexpected come from them, and we question our understanding of them, our influence over them.

It helps to go back to that hospital bed, and that moment of recognition. Not only that my son was my beloved, but that he was beloved by Another before me. I was privileged to partner in his making, but God knew him intimately before I met him. He was born secure in that Love, and though I can offer him only a shadow of that devotion, I can make a place for him in the world that is unearned and un-losable.  That place says my children are always seen and always loved.

 

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9 thoughts on “Day Eleven: Faces of the Beloved: Our Children

  1. Rachel

    oh what a great exhortation to go back to the first day we met our children, and to remember to Whom they were beloved first.

    and what a beautiful memory of meeting joshua on that first morning of his life!!! what a joy to be in those special moments together.

    Reply
    1. adailyportion Post author

      Oh, friend, one of my favorite photos of Joshua’s early days is you cuddling him– so thankful for that and for the faithful years of friendship and the many welcomings since!

      Reply
  2. Pingback: 31 Days of Belovedness in October « adailyportion

  3. Ruthi

    not sure if it’s my emotional state of waiting for my grandson to be born or what, but your words here are beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Missy, I am so glad you are writing faithfully each day this each month because God is speaking through you!

    Reply
    1. adailyportion Post author

      Well, Ruthi, you and I are a pair this morning– I am wiping my eyes after watching your lovely slide show about awaiting the birth of your grandson. Can I tell you how you must add to your daughter’s joy, with your eager and touching anticipation of this miracle with her and her husband?

      You are a blessing!

      Reply
  4. Trish

    Missy, your boys are blessed to have a mother like you. A mother who has taken the pain of her childhood and given it to God so that she can be a godly example for her children of what it looks like to trust God in her brokenness. You are giving them a taste of being beloved all the time. May they rise up and call you blessed!

    Reply

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