Day Nine: Faces of the Beloved: Forgiving Old Faces

As I wrote last week, and as I have been writing with my own life, sometimes the voices and templates and thought patterns of childhood can be an obstacle to recognizing our own belovedness. Part of the process of overcoming those roadblocks, for me, is forgiveness of some of the people in my family history.

I want to say clearly that this is an ongoing part of my own journey, and to be honest, I’m not sure if it will ever be complete. What has helped me is accepting that those I would blame were also beloved people who did not know their own worth or value. I’ve tried to see their actions not only in the glaring light of my own hurting, but as indicators they they were grasping at power, anger, control, because they had not been shown their own unearned belovedness.

Sometimes I don’t want to look at those old pictures with empathy or compassion. I white-knuckle my own anger and defend my right to go on hurting. But sometimes God gives me the grace to remember that these people were deep into their own life stories before I arrived, and much noise was already drowning out the voice of truth, whispering, “My beloved. . . ”

And I remember that part of my citizenship in the Beloved community is an inheritance of hope. The story has not ended with pain,anger, loneliness.

…what was incurable, desperate blindness
has been bound up from all sides with loving kindness
comfort for sorrow,
rivers for dryness
come and drink you who have no money. . .

And it rained all day
With the bounty of new wine

“Gypsy Flat Road”  Sandra McCracken

 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Day Nine: Faces of the Beloved: Forgiving Old Faces

  1. Pingback: 31 Days of Belovedness in October « adailyportion

  2. Ruthi

    reminds me of a quote I read… everything will be okay in the end. if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. So thankful He is writing our story!

    Reply
  3. Trish

    Oh, Missy. Thank you for being so vulnerable to share your story and your struggles. This frame of viewing our hurts through a lens of awareness that the offender has also struggled to feel beloved – that has helped me deal with those hurts many times. But thank you for your honesty that the hurt often still remains and must be wrestled to see beyond it. Thanks once more for giving us something to ponder.

    Reply
    1. adailyportion Post author

      Thank you, Trish, for being here and interacting with these ideas. Without a doubt, this is one of my areas of greatest struggle– but also one of the areas where God has met me and shown me that my story is only part of the story.

      Many blessings to you this blustery day!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s